Qype: Butlins in Bognor Regis

Bognor Regis - Travel & Hotels - Holiday Parks

I visited this camp a couple of years ago for an SF convention. I won’t go into that (it had its own problems), but the venue was a nightmare.

I was sharing with a friend who uses a wheelchair: she can walk short distances, but has chronic severe pain, is sensitive to cold and has sleeping problems. On arrival at the station we found out that the ‘accessible’ taxis could only take folding chairs, not her powered one, so we had to make our own way to the camp. Not too much fun with heavy bags to carry.

We’d been told that the convention goers would have their own area of villas, well away from other groups using the camp that weekend. Our ‘accessible’ chalet was tiny. Getting the chair in and out was like doing one of those puzzles where you slide bricks about and it had to be left, basically, in the way. It was cold (yes, it was winter, but we’d been told the heating would be up to it) and the sliding door to the loo had to be lifted up so my friend couldn’t close it unless I was around to open it again for her. (We also discovered we both snore, and spent the night alternately keeping each other awake, but I guess that’s not the venue’s fault… except we’d had to push the beds together to get the chair in…)

The second day we did get moved to a newly built accessible two bedroom chalet, which was much nicer. 2 bedrooms, HUGE bathroom, (wet room style so the shower could be used with a chair or a fold-down seat), living room with kitchen. Pretty amazing! (Though I did have to pin some towels over the bathroom windows: staff gave me the pins!). Unfortunately it’s there we discovered the other major problem…

The other big group there that weekend was for Butlin’s own ‘adults only’ weekend. Basically stags, hens and others up for mayhem. Don’t get me wrong, SF fans can party. Some of us even drink, and miss the morning talks because we’ve been up all night. And people have been known to get injured while dancing to ‘Star Trekkin’ (I’m serious, someone had to go to hospital at one con I went to, and I’ve had bruises myself). But generally we party in the party area, are fairly quiet on the way back to our rooms, don’t play loud music there and shut up if asked.

Anyway, we basically got kept up every night after by upstair’s loud music and what sounded like acrobatic displays complete with thumping and cheers (though they were too drunk for that), and had to call security several times to shut them up. We didn’t have the energy to ask for another move. And it probably wouldn’t have helped… Back in the SF con’s allocated accommodation area they had people from the other group passing through on their way home. Shouting, screaming and banging on all the doors as they went. Very scary apparently. Some friends came back one night to find a couple banging on their doorstep, and in this case I don’t mean knocking.

If that wasn’t enough, we shared some venues. Our talks hall was used for their disco at night. One day I went to kneel in the aisle to take a picture and felt a wet patch. Though it had been slightly cleaned there was still enough vomit in the carpet to leave a lovely pink patch on my jeans. On the last morning I did actually (not politely) ask someone I saw coming out upstairs if they minded they’d wrecked our weekend, to which the (also not polite) response was that no, he just wanted to get laid (he put it somewhat less delicately). Though they were a load of louts, I have to lay the blame with Butlins. They’d come expecting to be able to ‘live it up’ all weekend, so being told to shut up must have been annoying. They’d also been giving a list of venues available to them, some of which were actually used by us in the evenings, so they’d got short changed on that too.

As for general facilities… the swimming area was open, but only the same hours as con talks were on, so I never got to use it. For food there were some fast food type places, a supermarket, and a canteen where we got some meals included. I thought the canteen wasn’t bad: a bit institutional of course, but a good range of food choices. Some people hated it, but I’ve had a lot worse. The outside attractions were closed. The big fun fair / amusements type area was open, and was often the quickest route to other places. Clever! While Butlins might be cheap to stay at, this was a total money trap, with coin slots everywhere! Parents taking children, beware…

Generally I found the staff absolutely lovely, and it’s thanks to them this place scrapes 2 stars. (Added note: I did write this before seeing the other reviewers were ex-staff!) However I did rather get the feeling that they knew we’d been screwed, and there was nothing they could do about it. Head office didn’t care.

Check out my review of Butlins - I am moonrising - on Qype

Headlines

Like many people I get a lot of spam emails. The ones offering to increase the size of my member, or from cute Russians who saw me online and really want to meet me, have got just boring. Offers of rip-off watches and mails pretending to be from bank accounts I don’t have always were. I have been rather impressed by some headlined with fake news stories this week though. I’ll admit to even checking the BBC just in case on a couple of them… So here’s a selection, with just one genuine story, from the Hackney Gazzette. Can you spot it?

Kidney Stealing Ring Busted
Arnold Says I’m Gay Too!
Monkeys Taught To Handle A Gun
Hospital Handwash Stolen To Make Moonshine
Plucky Pensioner Discovers Hitler In His Local Starbucks
Police Open Fire On Elderly In Iowa
Orgy In Public Park
Scientists Prove Landing In Mars Staged
Flu Outbreak Kills Thousands In Mexico
Girl Attacked By Pirahnas In Georgia
Geek Turns Into Hot Babe

Some funny, some definitely not, but I think they all have that hint of ‘could be…’. I’ve opened a couple (definitely not replied, or clicked on the links inside…) and they contain more stories. The Mexico Flu outbreak contains a link purporting to be to a story on global warming causing cancer. Interested in gay Arnie? Inside is a link to ‘Courtney Love Vows To Wear Clothes’. Are the two stories linked? Anyway, if you want to know… the genuine East End story is the hospital one. Yep, apparently people are stealing the newly-introduced bottles of mediscrub in the corridors… It contains alcohol you know.

A Strange Old Week

It’s been one of those weeks where things happen. I could probably have got a few blog posts out of it if I hadn’t been too busy to write them.

Sunday was a low in one way and a right of passage in another. I’ve recently started working as a cat sitter. On Sunday one of my charges bit me while I was pilling her, hard enough to draw blood. First time I’ve ever had a ‘proper’ cat bite, so I guess it had to happen sometime. Anyway, it’s almost healed now, without infection. And I’ve found that the cat responds well to a bit of Ttouch massage and now purrs during her pilling and massage session. Hmmm, I think I will post on pilling cats at some point.

Sad to report I’ve been having trouble with my knees, due partly to the mileage I’ve been covering for work, and partly the fact the bike is too big and putting strain on them. Tuesday I decided to walk my rounds. Two visits only most of this week, unfortunately near Kings Cross and up in E5. Actually I’m rather glad I choose that day to start walking… It was Ant Day!

As I left my Kings Cross visit I noticed the winged ants gathering around the entrance of every nest in huge numbers. In one place I had to explain to a mystified bloke what was going on (for anybody that doesn’t know, it’s mating flights, co-ordinated by weather conditions). The nest he was looking at was especially impressive: a wooden post by the entrance was totally coated by especially large winged ants, glistening as they moved. As I walked through Angel people were beginning to jump and swat. Along Essex Road they were pelting you constantly: I’ve never seen such numbers. At times it was like a horror film at the point just before someone starts screaming ‘help, they’re eating me!’

Wednesday was my birthday, but still a work day for me. A high point was stopping off at Mucho Mas for a burrito. I will definitely go there again! Thursday I measured my walking mileage, and with the addition of the dog walk I do that day, it made twelve miles. Friday I saw a physio, and confirmed the bike is not helping. I vowed I’d not use it again, then found myself running late and had to. And of course I misjudged squeezing round the back of a lorry, hit the curb and fell over it, adding some lovely bruises to what was the knee that was less painful, as if I wasn’t in enough trouble with them!

Still, I think the aches are decreasing, and the King’s Cross booking has now finished. Lovely cat, but it’s a relief to have less distance to do! A brief respite before the storm, as everyone seems to want a cat sitter in August…

Writing for the Perfect Hazelnut Yoghurt

When I write I tend to do a rough, spelling mistakes and total junk and all, then come back later to polish. Just occasionally there’s something in the original, lost later on, that makes it worth saving for later. Maybe a witty comment that didn’t quite fit in the final version, which I hope to use one day elsewhere. Something like that…

Further down this blog you’ll find a review I just posted on Qype. I was thinking of posting it anyway, even before things got strange. I’m pretty busy at the moment. A few nights ago I was feeling very tired, but decided to do just a bit of writing before I headed off to bed. So I started writing about hazelnut yoghurts. As I typed my eyes closed, and I guess my mind wandered, maybe I even fell asleep and dreamed a little? Then I jerked awake, opened my eyes, read what I’d written and decided I really had to go to bed, right that minute… Here’s what I wrote:

I remember the hazelnut yogurts you usee to get. Cheap, plain
yogurts. Each with a sprinkling of the real nuts. I was told to be
strict with the dog. Who comes out and socializes on a regular bowl.

I can’t help noticing my spelling improved while I was typing nonsense.

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Qype: Tesco Express in London

London - Food & Drink - Supermarkets

Recently I’ve been on the look out for a good hazelnut yoghurt. I guess my model is the old, cheap hazelnut yoghurts I got as a kid. Back in those days quite likely full of junk and definitely not live… but… I used to love the milky, clean flavour with the little bits of real nut. On the whole I love the trend to more ‘luxurious’ flavours in yoghurts. Creamy lemon curd or Greek with honey… yum! But it seems that if you try to improve hazel, what you end up with is something that tastes of caramel, rather than nut. And don’t even get me started on the brazil yoghurts that have replaced them in some places. I love brazils, but put them in a yoghurt and the milkyness of the nut is hidden by the yoghurt itself and all you get is sickly sweetness and the bitterness of gone-off nut. Ik.

My local Tesco used to do a good hazel yoghurt. Milky rather than creamy. Generous with the ‘bits’. I didn’t blame them when they (and the lovely black cherry that was also part of the same line) disappeared, replaced by another line. I believed it was head office’s fault, the line was discontinued, and I mourned.

I was wrong. This branch has them! (And I’ve included a picture should anyone want to try them). I will have to go and take a star off my local branch…

Anyway, as to this branch… It’s largish for one of the smaller Tescos (come on, you know what I mean…). So lots to choose from. Not often visited (though maybe now I will!), but never had a problem. And they did some awesome reductions on Christmas Eve this year: I had oven ready ‘posh’ stuffed pheasant at Christmas for £3 thanks to them.

PS: ironically, in these yoghurts caramel is listed in the ingredients. What can I say? They’ve got the balance right in my opinion.

Check out my review of Tesco Express - I am moonrising - on Qype

When Is A Run Not A Run?

I’m an honest person. I’ve done three marathons and numerous other events, but I don’t like to claim I’ve run them. I’ve run large parts of every one, but whenever possible I explain I’ve used a run/walk strategy, and in some of the longer races it’s been more walk than run. If I don’t have time to explain I’ll say I’ve done a marathon, or run IN a marathon, both of which are true, while saying I’ve run a marathon could be argued not to be. I’m proud of being able to cover marathon distance as a run/walker. Heck, we keep the effort up for twice as long (or more) compared to the fast runners. And since I take longer to cover the distances, I’ve probably trained longer hours than many up the front of the pack. I’ve not been feeling I’m a ‘real’ runner though.

Over the last year I’ve begun to do regular runs without walking. I’ve made a load of running goals, including running various distances, without walking. But, being an honest person, I’ve been careful about my wording. For 5 and 10k my aim was to run the whole way without walking (both of which I have now achieved, Yay!). For half and full marathons though that poses a difficulty. I do like to have the odd toilet stop, and somehow I don’t think jogging on the spot while trying to use a portaloo is going to work. So the goal I’ve made is that I’ll run the whole way. My interpretation of that wording is that I’m allowed to stop and use the loo, or get a stone out of my shoe, but I won’t walk any of the course. If I need to do something that would require walking, then instead I’ll stop dead. If I need to go off the course to the loo I’ll start running again at the exact same point. I will cover every inch of the course at a running pace, but not totally without stopping. Seems fair to me.

Then I did my 10K without running recently… Generally as you pass the water station there’s someone there waiting to hand you a bottle of water. But on my last lap they were clearing up. Jogging on the spot I asked a man if there were any left. He pointed to some on the ground. I realised that picking up something on the ground while jogging on the spot was not possible, and had to ask him to hand it me… I wonder if he thought I was nuts?! Hopefully he understood! (Especially as it turned out I hadn’t spotted the people still holding out bottles further up the track…)

Thinking about it since I’ve realised I’m setting a higher standard for myself than most runners do. Most would have stood still and picked up the bottle themselves. They would have seen it as annoying, but not as cheating on their part. Some experts recommend that even top marathon runners take breaks. Certainly nobody accuses Paula Radcliffe or the like of cheating if they stop to relieve a cramp. Most runners you see out and about will stop at crossings etc. Annoying to be delayed, but not cheating…

I think I still want to do a half and a marathon running all the way, in line with my personal goals. It’s still an aim worth fulfilling. But last weekend I went out on a 5 mile run. I stopped at a crossing and for a loo break. And I’m still calling it a 5 mile run. I’m definitely a real runner now. I don’t need to doubt myself or feel it dishonest if I don’t keep that running motion going 100% of the time.

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East End Round Up, July

Thought it was time for a little round up of a few things I’ve heard of going on…

Firstly the excellent stationary shop, Cards Plus, in Dalston is having a ‘closing down sale’ with everything half price. They told me it was going on for a couple of weeks, but as that was a couple of days ago as I write, I’d guess anyone interested should be getting down there before everything goes. I think I got the last metallic covered notebook… Good news is that they are not closing permanently, just for refurbishment. So you can go and grab some bargains without feeling sad and guilty.

My Create08 booklet is also advertising some gems. Lloyd Park, Walthamstow is hosting the Fellowship Art Challenge Exhibition, with over 1500 exhibitors, including art from a South African township, an Irish farm and an Italian Playgroup. Running on afternoons from 10 to 27th July. Lloyd Park is also the venue for the Green Fair on 20th July, 2-7pm. Both events are free.

If you like carnivals, Newham’s is on Saturday 12th (Start and finish, Central Park, 2-4 pm), and Walthamstow’s is on Sunday 13th (Start Lloyd Park, 1pm). Both have other stuff going on in the streets/park over the whole weekend.

Personally I might be heading down to the Geffrye Museum on Sunday 13th. Their Summer Sundays series (also on 10th August) feature fun, crafts and music for the whole family. The bit that interests me is a sale of unusual herbs and plants. Free…

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Qype: Blasted Heath in London

London

OK, I don’t think this is actually called Blasted Heath, but it’s not named in my A-Z and I have no intention of a return visit to look for signs.

In fact I probably wouldn’t bother reviewing it, but it’s been way too long since I started reviewing and I still don’t have a single star review, and I thought it was about time. And since open spaces are sort of my speciality…

I came across this while visiting Banksy’s Yellow Line Flower Painter just across the road. From a distance it seemed tempting: converging pathways leading up to a towering circle of poplars. Closer up it turns out the pathways are more broken glass than anything else, and the poplars surround a group of sorry looking boulders daubed with graffiti which has been added over and badly cleaned so many times it’s just a mess, with not so much as a word readable, let alone anything of artistic interest. Add a group of surly teenagers glowering at you, and it’s just depressing.

I feel sorry for the trees.

Check out my review of Blasted Heath - I am moonrising - on Qype