Once You’ve Started You Can’t Stop

I’ve been poor for a while. On the whole I think it’s not so bad as people make out. People with the money to buy big cars and houses just end up struggling to find the money to repair them. Maybe it’s better to go around on public transport and live in a council house really.

But being really, seriously poor (well, by our country's standards anyway) does result in a wearing out of pretty important stuff eventually… I’ve been living for a while with the fridge with an ice monster that periodically wedges the door open and melts all over the floor. The loose screw in my glasses is held in with selotape (and when you are basically blind without them, that’s an issue). Then there’s the cold tap in the kitchen that won’t turn on, and the hot tap in the bathroom that won’t turn off, so that I have to keep the water heating turned off unless I actually need it. (OK, that’s not actually a money issue, being in a council flat, but getting them fixed means time off work, when I’m trying to save to sort the rest…). Not to mention the microwave that works, but makes and extremely loud noise crossed between whale song (and remember whale song travels thousands of miles…) and a car being crushed.

After a totally mad August in my new job as an alternative cat burglar, I’ve finally got a little money and a little time. At which point both my cooker and my computer broke down in the same week… New glasses and fridge will have to wait! And I’m wondering how long it is before the neighbours ask why I’m crushing cars in my flat, as the microwave is my only way to cook.

So anyway… I got the hot tap fixed on an emergency evening call. And a new computer is working well and looking good. My new tower, keyboard and mouse are natty black and silver. Unfortunately my old screen and printer are yellowed cream. There’s also the issue of my old speakers… Plug them in the back and play, right? Wrong… After plug in the computer presented me with a nice little menu of options. Definitely not a mic…. But were my speakers side speakers? Tried… no… next hole. This time I tried ‘Centre/Sub Woofer’. Now, personally, in my opinion the only excuse anyone has for having a sound system that makes the ground shake is that they are providing it for deaf people, or are mad enough to want to become deaf themselves. I have no intension of ever deliberately being in possession of a sub-woofer. However with only one cable, maybe ‘centre’ was the appropriate position for my speakers? Nope… still nothing coming out.

So I scratched my head, and thought a little about what has only one cable going to two sound-producing units… tried the option. Embarrassingly it worked.

Yep, I have speakers so crap my computer thinks they are headphones.

And I’ve added a new screen to ‘The List’.

The List will never die.